When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2 NIV
Over the years dealing with my injury, I've often felt drowned in disappointments or crushed by the waves of all of my setbacks. I've felt hopeless and defeated, tired and frustrated. I've felt overwhelmed by the weight of it all. And sometimes I've even felt alone.
Going through an injury, like I have, is something that people don't understand unless they've experienced it for themselves. They don't understand how draining daily pain is. Or how frustratingly slow the rehab process is. Or how depressing another setback can be. They don't understand the emotional storm that an injury can cause or the mental blocks that are faced. They don't understand that there is more to the story than what meets the eye. And they miss the fact that healing isn't linear; that there are many ups and downs along the journey.
My journey has had quite a few of those bumps and is far from over. When I thought that I could go back to playing sports, I couldn't. And when I thought that my pain would be gone, it wasn't. I'm still dealing with daily pain and setbacks, and I don't know when or if it will end. I can't say that I completely understand the why behind the length of my journey, but I can say that my God hasn't left me and has been carrying me through it the entire time. And oh how much He has grown me and my faith through all of it!
He has taught me so many things through my injury, and has turned my brokenness into beauty. He has conquered my fear, turned my mourning into dancing, and has grown flowers through my ashes. I mistook the darkness of my circumstance for the deepest parts of the ocean, when in reality I was simply being planted in soil so that I could grow.
I've come to realize that although I may not feel understood by those around me, I am still seen and heard by my Heavenly Father. My God knows and He understands my pain better than I do myself. He sees my breakdowns and battles, my tears and trials, my struggles and setbacks. And, He pulls me from the crashing waves of my circumstances and plants me in His soil instead. He uses my suffering to transform my soul so that I can rejoice and flourish.
I often have to remind myself of this. When I feel the overwhelming weight of my pain all over again, I have to remember that there is a purpose in the pain and that I am growing through it. I am not stuck beneath the waves alone; I am held by my God who knows and sees all of me.